Guilty Pleasures.

A guilty pleasure is something I enjoy, and kind of like about myself, that others might think is totally lame. I could write a “guilty pleasures” post and make it all about being cool –

“Oh, my guilty pleasure it totally listening to alternative music that you all have never heard of.”
“My guilty pleasure is I’m obsessed with putting everything in mason jars!”
“I just am so in love with vintage things it makes me feel so guilty.”

But this post is not going to make me look cool. It’s existence is because I wanted to have some fun today, and rarely do fun and worrying about my appearance coincide. And also because I was thinking about what God is teaching me recently. I think He wants me to pay attention to how much I compare myself to other people. I see it more often in my life now than I ever have. I compare myself to others constantly, and tell myself that they have it better than me. I know I’ll be a lot happier if I learn to stop doing that. And with that:

1. Glee.
Glee is kind of awful. It’s just full of lessons teenagers shouldn’t be learning and experiences they shouldn’t be having. But I think the writers are trying to show the struggles of young people, even if through their bizarre story lines, and I just really appreciate that the show doesn’t take itself seriously. Alright, enough justifying. I like it even though it’s wrong. I can’t resist the singing and the dancing and the drama and the wishing my life was a musical.

2. Singing really loudly as soon as I get home.
Dear upstairs neighbors, you may not appreciate the show tunes and T-Swift songs emanating from my vocal chords at 5:30 every day, but your tub made our bathroom ceiling collapse, so… Whatever. The singing isn’t so much the “guilty” part of this pleasure; it’s that I have an overactive imagination while  singing these songs. Like it’s karaoke night and I’m bringing the house down. Or that I’ve suddenly grown enough confidence to “strut” “stuff” and be sexy like so many musical performers are. Or like Taylor and I are really hanging out, having one of those nights when we’re just feeling 22, you know?

3. Pocket pies.
You know those one-serving pies? Like the Hostess ones that are no longer? Well, the discontinuing of Hostess (for now) has only allowed me the pleasure of branching out and trying other brands of delicious fruit-filled moments of golden delight. Don’t even speak of their calorie content. They’re just awful. But I love them so much I even have a little pet name for them. Pocket pies. I’m trying a new one from Krispy Kreme tonight for pi day. God bless you, 3.14.

4. This anti-Fifty Shades of Grey blog.
Once upon a time, I was like,  “What is all this Fifty Shades of Grey hullaballoo?” and “I’m pretty sure I want to rant about this book, so I’m going find out more about it.” But I didn’t want to actually read it (all the gross), so I stumbled upon this blog. These girls call themselves the Snark Squad, and they do reviews of books and TV shows from our childhood. They are also a few of my imaginary best friends, and I may also be an imaginary member of this Squad (but really, I’d be perfect). Their most recent project is to review the Fifty Shades of Grey series in the most sarcastic way possible, pointing out the evils of horrible writing, bad editing, and the I-threw-up-a-little-in-my-mouth characters that are Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. Reading this makes me feel guilty because I don’t want my mom to find out. Even though it’s bashing that awful series of vomit on paper, the blog shares a little TMI. But it is HILARIOUS. And it makes me get all ragey and Hulksmashy, which I like, and it also teaches me to use words like ragey and Hulksmash.

5. Every buzzfeed article about Jennifer Lawrence.
Check out those links. I am hardcore girl-crushing. One day, she WILL be best friends with me. Say hello to my imagination. Embarrassing.

6. Cleaning out my ears with Q-tips
If you don’t know this already, doctors do not recommend that we stick Q-tips in our ears. THEN WHY DO THEY STILL MAKE THEM, you ask. That’s what I said. They prefer we use them to take off makeup, apply Neosporin, or clean out our bellybuttons (shout out to all you innies). They say it’s not helpful to stick them in our ear canals and we could hurt ourselves, yadda yadda yadda. To be honest, I hardly ever have wax buildup in there to clean. It’s just so satisfying.

7. Not taking a shower
I don’t know if there are other people out there like me, but I dread that feeling of being naked and half-wet when I first get in the shower. I can only bring myself to do it every two days, and even then, it’s a struggle. I enjoy getting clean once the initial shock is over, but UGH. That feeling. I remember when my little brother had some issues when he was a toddler and freaked out whenever he got wet. I wonder if I have that now. As a twenty-two year old adult. You’re allowed to be grossed out, but then I want to you keep loving me and telling me I smell good.

That’s it! I was going for ten, but it was a good time to stop because I’m really proud of myself that only one of these is about food.

These are the things I like, even though it might be wrong and embarrassing to like them. To relate this back to the whole What-God-Is-Teaching-Me thing, we’re probably embarrassing to God sometimes. But Jesus looks at us, sees our sin, and says, “You’re full of garbage, so maybe I’m not supposed to like you. But I like you anyway.” I just can’t get over the gladness I feel when I’m reminded of the gospel and realize that I don’t have to measure up to anyone else. I treat myself like a DIY project. I decide what I need to be better at and get disappointed when I can’t do it. I’m always trying to improve myself based on other people, or what I think God expects of me, but what God wants to teach me is from Him. He doesn’t point to other people and say, “Be like that.” He shows me Himself, and I start to understand something I didn’t know before.

I John 3:1. “See what love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are.”