There was only one thing to talk about yesterday, and I couldn’t do it.
I’m not a big crier. Or, maybe more accurately, I don’t cry when I’m supposed to. I cry for no reason, and when there is a reason it’s hit or miss. Tragedies usually make me more angry than sad. When 9/11 and Virginia Tech and Aurora happened, I remember thinking, Who would do this? Why? Why why WHY? But I don’t think I cried even once.
But this was different. I keep weeping. You know, randomly. There doesn’t seem to be a trigger. I just think of yesterday and weep. And when I weep, I’m not thinking, Who would do this? Why why WHY? All I can think is, I am so sad.
And I want to pray Lord please come soon. I keep seeing that prayer on your facebook statuses and your retweets. But I can’t pray that. Because along with the sorrow and empathy and disgust that I feel, I keep thinking, People need Jesus.
People just need Jesus. And until He calls out to them, until they experience His love and grace and healing, I don’t want Him to come. It’s too selfish. I just want everyone affected by yesterday’s tragedy to know Jesus.