We all know by now that I didn’t go into marriage thinking it would be like a fairy tale. But it hasn’t been that hard, either. I mean. I think I cry more than ever. And I definitely have bigger responsibilities. And I guess I have to always consider someone else’s thoughts and feelings beside my own…
But it’s good.
I was having a conversation with another married friend and several single ladies when I visited my campus a few weeks ago, and one asked me, “Soooo, how’s married life?” I get that question all the time (in fact, my grandma JUST called to ask me, in those exact words) and was running out of vague answers to give. My married friend said, “It’s just like when someone asks you, ‘How’s college?'” Her response? “It’s just… life!”
I’m just living normal, everyday life with the person I picked. Sure, it’s not always a picnic, but I think the challenge is one of my favorite parts. I look at divorce rates and unhappy marriages and laugh in the face of danger (HahahaHA!) (<— The Lion King). I love being stuck. I love that separation and holding grudges and withholding forgiveness and communicating poorly and going to bed angry and breaking his heart aren’t options anymore. I love that we have to, because I love the faith it gives me. God will honor what He put in place. He will get us through the challenges and help us learn to love each other because He’s the one who decided that marriage is forever.
He’s the one who says it’s not an option to be complacent about your marriage. He made it so we have to try, because we’re not allowed to give up. He’s the one who created marriage to be the most self-revealing, revolutionary-yet-everyday thing ever. Brett and I talk about our “new normal” quite often, trying to figure out what our best normal, everyday life looks like. Most of marriage is building a normal life together. But we get to decide what that is. We get to make things up. It’s so cool. (I think I’ll save more on that for another blog post.) And when God’s plan for marriage is what we have to build on, there’s no doubt in my mind that it will be awesome. His marriage design gives me so much faith.
Lord, since you obviously want my marriage to be awesome and sanctifying and wonderful, help us be patient. Helps us remember that we have our whole lives to figure it out and make plans and change plans. Help us be loving. Help us to not think of all the reasons we could be mad at each other or resent each other. Help us to not remember each others’ sins. Give us thankful hearts, and minds inclined toward gratefulness. We can keep our promises to love each other in all things because YOU are faithful. YOU will uphold what you have put in place.