What (I think) I know about about Marriage (so far) – The Three-Month Mark

Well it’s been a good long while. If you like to point fingers, you may aim them at JoAnn Fabrics, rent.com, my full-time-adult-job, our completely DIY wedding invitations, the entire wedding season that is June through November, and Friday Night Lights. Because that’s where my time and energy have been.

But really, if you’re wondering what our version of three-months-until-the-wedding looks like, you’re about to get a run down. Because it’s all been so crazy that I haven’t had enough time to process actual helpful things, so this is all I have to write about. The things I’ve learned and the more important things I haven’t learned yet.

There was The Graduating
BRETT, what a guy, graduated college! I know, I know, so did three thousand other people. But this is not just average gloating. Brett was full-on determined to graduate on time so that we could get married. He worked so hard. I’m so proud of him and felt his relief as the weight of tests and papers and classes was lifted off his shoulders. Then there was celebrating.

There was The Job Search
And it continues. Brett did start working part-time for Max & Ermas a couple weeks ago, but obviously this is not an ideal permanent situation. He fills out job applications late into the night, and I pray a lot. If you would pray too, we would so appreciate it! I learned that he feels so much better about himself when he is getting paid, no matter how much. Because then he can provide for me by filling up my gas tank every once in a while and taking me on dates. It’s perfectly fine with him that I pay for rent and wedding stuff if he can get us snacks for the movie or wine for an UNO night.

There was The Wedding Invitation Making
We crazily decided to create our own wedding invitations from scratch. Seriously. We did everything except harvest our own paper. The idea was to save money, and though I haven’t done the math yet, I’m pretty sure it all added up to be about the same spent per card as the ones I saw online. But they are exactly what I wanted. Still deciding if the compliments I’m getting are worth all the trips to Michael’s and Hobby Lobby (more on that later). I can take credit for envisioning the whole thing, but I have my grandma, my fiance, and Bob to thank for making them all.
Plus we found an awesome abandoned train on our way to visit Grandma and Bob.

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And then The Apartment Finding
Success! We realized two weekends ago that we needed to find an apartment THAT DAY. Brett has been living with my older brother, who is getting married at the beginning of August. With our jobs and the wedding season, we didn’t have any availability to even look for anything until after Brett had to be out of my brother’s house. Yikes!
Finding an apartment right when we needed to was one of the biggest God moments I’ve recognized throughout our engagement (the other huge one being my wedding dress getting fixed. Ask me about that story and I will tell you and tear up). Now I’m obsessed with finding homey things to put in it. I think I update our wedding registry once a week. Because one of the things I’m most excited about – and I’m sure this desire is compounded by the fact that I live with my parents and we hardly have legitimate privacy. Ever. – is having a space that is OURS. With stuff that we chose together and will use together. Plus it’s a big outlet for my pent-up creativity.

The (Never Ending) Hobby Lobbying
Most of my wedding planning the past month or two can be summed up in just a simple sentence. “I have to go to Hobby Lobby/JoAnn’s/Michael’s again.” Here’s some tips for DIY ladies who are getting married or hope to get married someday:
JoAnn’s is expensive. Get your scrapbook paper from Hobby Lobby or Michael’s (Or Wal Mart). Get your fabric online (or at Wal Mart).
Michael’s is the most confusing store you will ever set foot in. You and your cart will not fit in the aisleways. And until Michaels takes my handwritten letter about fire hazards into consideration, I’d advise you to go to HOBBY LOBBY.
Hobby Lobby (though closed on Sundays) is a haven. They WILL have everything you need. Everything seems to be where it should be. And they always have 40% of coupons for you to print. Always. Hobby Lobby is a lifesaver.
I still need to check out the Dollar Tree and scourge more thrift stores.
Online shopping is also the greatest thing ever. It doesn’t seem as special as going to the store and selecting things, and it’s more risky. But when you’ve made the drive out to Hobby Lobby three times during the week and once accidentally on Sunday, just sit at your computer and order the dang burlap.

The Post-Long-Distance Readjusting
This actually deserves a dose of processing and its own blog post. What I’m learning/haven’t learned yet is that, in the face of love we realize desires we didn’t know we had. I mean, I’ve always wanted to be understood. But I didn’t feel like this person MUST understand me. Because he says he loves me. Or this person MUST pursue me. Because he says he will and wants to. Or, to sum up, this person must make me feel loved. Because he does love me and I do love him. Brett’s love makes me see so much about myself, especially what I need/desire/want/think I deserve. But then I have to realize that Brett, who makes me see all those things, is not the one I then need to expect/ask/want to fill all those things. It’s Jesus. It’s still Jesus.
Anyways, we’re getting through the stress by watching lots of Friday Night Lights while snuggling.

Weddings Galore!
Brett and I are both in two weddings this year, and it’s been a huge joy to celebrate with these other couples and offer help when we can. The fun has included: paper-flower-crafting, wedding-program-designing, bachelor-party-gaming, bridal-shower-going, bachelorette-party-drinking, excited-for-my-own-wedding-things-building, and FINALLY bridesmaid-being, wedding-attending, reception-partying with our wonderful friends Jeremy & Sarah this weekend! I can hardly wait.

Each of these things probably deserves its own post. I’m just so hyped up on wedding stress that I can’t organize them. I think I’m becoming prideful that I’m now an experienced know-it-all DIY wedding-maker. I’m under so much stress that I must be, right? So untrue. I know nothing. Except that Hobby Lobby > JoAnn’s. So that’s one thing you can take with you.

Cheers to you all, whether you’re planning your wedding in real life or on pinterest! What are some ways you’ve been dealing with your stress? What are you learning about each other as The Day gets closer? Can you relate to my wedding-shower envy as you anticipate your own (seriously, say yes and make me feel better) =) ?

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One thought on “What (I think) I know about about Marriage (so far) – The Three-Month Mark

  1. Rosemary Hafner says:

    Hanna, you are an amazing woman…never thought I would refer to you as a woman, BUT a woman you are. And I am so proud of you and how you let God lead in your life. Blessings on you always.
    Grandma

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