This post is going to be funny because it assumes that I have some following of people I don’t know who read my blog. Which is completely untrue, but I like to run this thing like it’s important or like my writing is going to be read by millions someday. Dreams…
So, you millions who have been following my posts about engagement, I thought it was about time I introduced you to the man I’m going to marry.
I hope you’ve already picked up on the fact that he’s a special person. You already know how crazily frightened and emotionally confused I was about the idea of marriage, especially at this age and to someone who makes me see my sin so much (which is a really good thing even though we always want to run from those people). This is the guy who made me, a skeptical and hyper-emotional lost cause, want to get married, and he did it without any love potions, guitar riffs and lyrics about me, or flashy vehicles of any kind (well…).
This is him:
I never really had a “type” or knew what I wanted in a boyfriend or a husband (actually, I didn’t want a boyfriend at all). I wasn’t the girl who made lists of character qualities or talents and refused to settle for less. I think it’s good to have those kinds of lists because they let you think about what you really want and help you to know whether or not you’re compromising. Especially if you’re like me and can’t bank your decisions off of fleeting emotions, it’s nice to have something to refer to that either makes you confident of what you’re feeling or makes you rethink your decisions.
If I had made a list and chosen my future husband by it, I don’t know if I’d be engaged today. But I do know that I’m marrying the best man for me in just 130 days. And even though I have so much to learn about him, which is SUPER exciting, there are things that I know he is, because of his character and because he’s a man after God’s own heart. SO… Here are some qualities I think EVERY list-of-future-husband-attributes should have, courtesy of my hindsight.
Pick a man:
Whose love points you to Jesus
Who sees the best in you
Who knows when you’re wrong and can point out your sin… and still believes the best about you
Who knows and lives out and builds your relationship on the truth that JESUS is his first love, not you
Who is jealous for you
Who is patient
Who is sincere
Who desires greater things for your relationship than what you already have
Who is strong in his weakness, knowing that even when he fails he falls on grace
Who you can see awesome potential in
Who you know you can encourage and inspire to be an even more awesome man than he is
Who knows you can do those things too =)
Who wants to be in difficult times with you as much as happy times with you
Who knows how much growing you have to do together and isn’t deterred
And know always that God chooses for us what makes us holy, not what always makes us happy. Which doesn’t mean that you should be with someone who doesn’t make you happy. It just means that in times of unhappiness and hardship, think of how God desires to change you through the relationship. Your “list” should be just as much about how you want to be in a relationship as who you want him to be.
Brett and I have problems with communication, boundaries, trust… lots of things. Which often makes our relationship difficult or awkward. We’ve made each other cry. We’ve said things that were unloving. We don’t always act like we think our fiance is the best person in the world. But God is our sufficiency. We realize that love is a choice, and a commitment to keep choosing that person over and over again. And that’s what’s going to be the foundation of our marriage.
What are some things that are on your list, or have been on your list?