Meet Brett

This post is going to be funny because it assumes that I have some following of people I don’t know who read my blog. Which is completely untrue, but I like to run this thing like it’s important or like my writing is going to be read by millions someday. Dreams…

So, you millions who have been following my posts about engagement, I thought it was about time I introduced you to the man I’m going to marry.

I hope you’ve already picked up on the fact that he’s a special person. You already know how crazily frightened and emotionally confused I was about the idea of marriage, especially at this age and to someone who makes me see my sin so much (which is a really good thing even though we always want to run from those people). This is the guy who made me, a skeptical and hyper-emotional lost cause, want to get married, and he did it without any love potions, guitar riffs and lyrics about me, or flashy vehicles of any kind (well…).

This is him:

And that’s me kissing his cheek. Just to clarify… I mean OH MY GOSH WHO IS THAT WOMAN??!

I never really had a “type” or knew what I wanted in a boyfriend or a husband (actually, I didn’t want a boyfriend at all). I wasn’t the girl who made lists of character qualities or talents and refused to settle for less. I think it’s good to have those kinds of lists because they let you think about what you really want and help you to know whether or not you’re compromising. Especially if you’re like me and can’t bank your decisions off of fleeting emotions, it’s nice to have something to refer to that either makes you confident of what you’re feeling or makes you rethink your decisions.

If I had made a list and chosen my future husband by it, I don’t know if I’d be engaged today. But I do know that I’m marrying the best man for me in just 130 days. And even though I have so much to learn about him, which is SUPER exciting, there are things that I know he is, because of his character and because he’s a man after God’s own heart. SO… Here are some qualities I think EVERY list-of-future-husband-attributes should have, courtesy of my hindsight.

Pick a man:
Whose love points you to Jesus
Who sees the best in you
Who knows when you’re wrong and can point out your sin… and still believes the best about you
Who knows and lives out and builds your relationship on the truth that JESUS is his first love, not you
Who is jealous for you
Who is patient
Who is sincere
Who desires greater things for your relationship than what you already have
Who is strong in his weakness, knowing that even when he fails he falls on grace
Who you can see awesome potential in
Who you know you can encourage and inspire to be an even more awesome man than he is
Who knows you can do those things too =)
Who wants to be in difficult times with you as much as happy times with you
Who knows how much growing you have to do together and isn’t deterred

And know always that God chooses for us what makes us holy, not what always makes us happy. Which doesn’t mean that you should be with someone who doesn’t make you happy. It just means that in times of unhappiness and hardship, think of how God desires to change you through the relationship. Your “list” should be just as much about how you want to be in a relationship as who you want him to be.

Brett and I have problems with communication, boundaries, trust… lots of things. Which often makes our relationship difficult or awkward. We’ve made each other cry. We’ve said things that were unloving. We don’t always act like we think our fiance is the best person in the world. But God is our sufficiency. We realize that love is a choice, and a commitment to keep choosing that person over and over again. And that’s what’s going to be the foundation of our marriage.

What are some things that are on your list, or have been on your list?

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6 thoughts on “Meet Brett

  1. Rachel says:

    Hanna, thank you so much for posting this. It has been awesome watching you grow through this whole process and watching you and Brett go as well. It’s also been wonderful seeing how God has changed your heart for marriage–especially knowing you from before you started dating Brett. I’m so encouraged by your relationship, and I so appreciate how you both have model Christ’s love toward each other. Love you both!

  2. paul says:

    “Your β€œlist” should be just as much about how you want to be in a relationship as who you want him to be.”

    Well done, you win the prize.

    I think people spend WAY too much time making the list of character qualities that the other person must have and way too little making the same list for themselves. Certainly you DO want to have those things in mind picking a spouse (and your list is fine, although — and I mean no disrespect in saying this — there is NO WAY that you can know if Brett is all of those things at this point in your relationship. And he NEVER actually will be ALL of those things). But the biggest question is not, “Is he the guy I want to marry,” but “Am I ready to be the kind of person who can be married?”

    Very thoughtful and mature post, Hanna. Congratulations and good luck.

  3. Erin says:

    this is awesome Hanna. I have really enjoyed seeing your love for Brett grow. You two are an awesome role model for a Christ filled relationship. Makes me excited to meet the man, God has for me. πŸ™‚

  4. This is beautiful, Hanna! I’m very happy for you and Brett!

  5. francine says:

    hanna! this is wonderful! i’m so excited for you and brett!! this post makes me hope i meet him someday (: i think i love your last full paragraph the most… it can be really hard to put such honest things out there for the world to see, but i just want you to know that i am encouraged by your post. it’s easy for me to think that i am a failure at my relationship with alan because of how we can sometimes treat each other. we can be very unkind to each other at times. yet the Lord is faithful through it all and we are faithful to each other.

    anyways, what i’m trying to say is that seeing people’s loving fb status updates and beautiful engagement pictures can cause me to think that we’re the only couple that struggles. so it’s nice to hear that we are all working through our humanness and that choosing to love God and to continue to love each other through the tough stuff are the most important choices that we make.

    (so rambling, i’m sorry. i just work up and didn’t sleep well, lol.)

    blessings to you and brett!! ❀

  6. […] for this year. I graduated, got a job I don’t hate going to every day, and I married my favorite person in the world. So why am I bummed out? Because I would have resolved to travel. I would have […]

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